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Valley Brook Probation Ofice
Valley Brook Probation Ofice
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$29.50 USD
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$29.50 USD
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Valley Brook Probation Office Tee
This unisex tee might look soft and lightweight with just the right amount of stretch—but don’t let that fool you. It carries the weight of one of Oklahoma’s most infamous little towns: Valley Brook. Tucked inside Oklahoma City limits, Valley Brook exists for one thing and one thing only—ticketing, arresting, and collecting fees. It’s a mega speed trap disguised as a municipality, and the only real commerce here revolves around neon lights and velvet curtains. Yes, the strip clubs outnumber almost everything else, making Valley Brook the undisputed heavyweight champion of strippers per capita in Oklahoma.
Drive through on a Friday night and you’ll see the red-and-blue glow in your rearview before you can blink. Rumor has it, if you spend enough time here, you’ll need two things: cash for the ticket and a lawyer on speed dial. Getting pulled over in Valley Brook is a rite of passage for the unlucky, and if you don’t pay up, you’re bound to see the inside of their court. Just don’t expect marble columns and grand architecture—court here happens in a double-wide trailer parked next to the jail trailer. That’s right, your day in court is about as glamorous as a DMV line, but with a lot more bail bondsmen hanging around.
Locals know the drill: keep your tags clean, avoid the speed trap, and don’t even think about rolling a stop sign. Outsiders? They learn the hard way. Valley Brook isn’t a town you pass through; it’s a town that passes judgment on you—and usually writes it on a ticket. Wearing this shirt is like wearing a badge of survival, a wink to those who know the game and got out with their wallet only slightly lighter.
So whether you’ve done “probation” at the Valley Brook Probation Office, fought your case in the trailer courtroom, or just want to commemorate the most notorious square mile of Oklahoma, this shirt’s for you. Comfortable, flattering, and as unisex as the justice system in Valley Brook—which is to say, it doesn’t discriminate when it comes to collecting fees.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
This unisex tee might look soft and lightweight with just the right amount of stretch—but don’t let that fool you. It carries the weight of one of Oklahoma’s most infamous little towns: Valley Brook. Tucked inside Oklahoma City limits, Valley Brook exists for one thing and one thing only—ticketing, arresting, and collecting fees. It’s a mega speed trap disguised as a municipality, and the only real commerce here revolves around neon lights and velvet curtains. Yes, the strip clubs outnumber almost everything else, making Valley Brook the undisputed heavyweight champion of strippers per capita in Oklahoma.
Drive through on a Friday night and you’ll see the red-and-blue glow in your rearview before you can blink. Rumor has it, if you spend enough time here, you’ll need two things: cash for the ticket and a lawyer on speed dial. Getting pulled over in Valley Brook is a rite of passage for the unlucky, and if you don’t pay up, you’re bound to see the inside of their court. Just don’t expect marble columns and grand architecture—court here happens in a double-wide trailer parked next to the jail trailer. That’s right, your day in court is about as glamorous as a DMV line, but with a lot more bail bondsmen hanging around.
Locals know the drill: keep your tags clean, avoid the speed trap, and don’t even think about rolling a stop sign. Outsiders? They learn the hard way. Valley Brook isn’t a town you pass through; it’s a town that passes judgment on you—and usually writes it on a ticket. Wearing this shirt is like wearing a badge of survival, a wink to those who know the game and got out with their wallet only slightly lighter.
So whether you’ve done “probation” at the Valley Brook Probation Office, fought your case in the trailer courtroom, or just want to commemorate the most notorious square mile of Oklahoma, this shirt’s for you. Comfortable, flattering, and as unisex as the justice system in Valley Brook—which is to say, it doesn’t discriminate when it comes to collecting fees.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
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